Human Time Bomb: a cheeky lil’ poem
Human Time Bomb: a cheeky lil’ poem

Human Time Bomb: a cheeky lil’ poem

I’ve been wasting some weekend hours browsing Facebook this evening and as I trawl through the hundreds of posts ranging from Sunday Lunch photos to the trending Black and White Image posts, this caught my eye – Human Time Bomb.

Fellow placenta remedies specialist and Hypnobirth teacher Helen Wright is heading towards the end of her pregnancy and getting all of the expected questions and curiosity about why her baby isn’t here yet and why she’s hasn’t given birth yet….. 

As you read Aitch’s words here, relax and take a breather whilst you wait for your own time to meet your baby.

Human Time Bomb: a cheeky lil’ poem

I feel like a time bomb 

Waiting to blow

When will this baby come?

How the fuck do I know?

I’m not made of clockwork

I’m not a machine

I’m a human, who’s pregnant

I’m elephantine!

Due dates are misleading 

In fact, they’re a fallacy

A delusion at best

They are not actuality 

My baby isn’t ‘late’

I’m not ‘overdue’

I’m pregnant with a baby

Who’s not yet passed through

I’m not a fortune teller, 

I don’t have a wizard’s wand

I can’t magic up this baby

How else can I respond?

I am healthy and strong,

And my baby is well

Please, stop your asking,

Only time will tell

We’re not in a rush,

We’re not in a hurry

We’ve tried all the tricks 

And yes, we’ve had curry!

We’ll let you know

When the baby arrives

Until then, please,

Just get on with your lives <3
By Helen Wright + Bump 26/11/17

Helen Wright, Founder of BirthWright, is mum to 20 month old Johan, with another (giant) bun currently cooking! She’s a Positive Birth Coach, a KG Hypnobirthing Teacher – the original UK Hypnobirtihng – and an IPEN Certified Placenta Remedies Specialist, as well as being a fully qualified primary school teacher, with over 15 years teaching and senior leadership experience. Helen works with couples in East London and the surrounding areas; she’s the creator of BirthWright Affirmation Cards; she blogs; gives talks about Hypnobirthing and Placenta Remedies; she runs regular Mummy Meet Ups and she’s currently training with the Breastfeeding Network to become a Registered Breastfeeding Helper. For more info visit: and follow her on Facebook (@BirthWrightEastLondon), Twitter (BirthWrightUK) and Instagram (birthwright_eastlondon/).